Data the Prankster
by Spittlebug
Summary: Data borrows a book and decides to try out some pranks on the unsuspecting crew to better understand humor.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. Obviously.**

Prologue

Data was in Ryker's quarters, skimming through his bookshelf. "So, what book do you want to borrow, Data?" Will asked his friend. "Borrowing" was just a formality, since the android could read three hundred pages in two seconds if he really wanted to.

"I am not certain, Commander," Data replied. "You have so many different genres to choose from."

"Well, since you're interested in humor…" Ryker pulled out a book from the shelf and handed it to his friend. "Try this one." The title read Two Hundred 20th Century Pranks.

Data cocked his head. "I believe that is a good choice. Thank you."

Later in his quarters, the android read the book in about two seconds, but then skimmed it further. Data decided that the senior crew probably wouldn't mind if he tried a few of the pranks out…

**Author's Note: Decided to take a break from my dark fan-fiction to bring together something lighter and hopefully funny. I already have a few pranks planned, but please feel free to suggest ideas for pranks that Data should try via reviews. Thank you.**


	2. The Wedgie

The first prank Data decided to try out was the wedgie. This particular prank mystified him the most. Why would pulling someone's underwear up be funny?

He was still pondering this when Wesley entered his quarters. "What did you want me for, Data?" he asked.

"I wished to try an experiment, Wesley. Are you willing to take part in it?"

"Yeah, sure," the young Crusher said uneasily. "What are you going to do?"

Data knew that Wesley had to be unaware for this to work, so the android didn't answer Wesley's question. "Turn around so that your back is facing me."

Wesley did as Data asked, and the android swiftly lifted the boy's underwear and pulled. He pulled so hard that Wesley's underwear ripped. _I don't think that was supposed to happen,_ Data thought.

Wesley swore like a sailor and keeled over. "What the heck, Data?!?" he exclaimed through gritted teeth. "What did you think you were doing?"

"I was merely attempting something called a prank. It is intended to be funny."

The son of Dr. Crusher was angry now. "Well, that's not funny at all. My mom is going to hear about this." He grabbed the piece of cloth that Data had ripped and stormed out of the android's quarters.

Needless to say, Dr. Crusher did not speak to Data for two weeks. But obviously everyone else thought that the prank was hilarious. Even Geordi mentioned it to Data, saying that it was "a good one."

The android still didn't understand how a wedgie could be funny, but a few days later, he began plans for his next prank.


	3. The Whoopee Cushion

But before going about this next prank, Data talked to Geordi. They met up in Ten Forward, and their conversations wandered. Just when there wasn't much else to talk about, Data brought up the pranks.

"Geordi, would you be interested in helping me with something?"

"What's that, Data?"

"Would you like to help me with my…pranks? I have decided to pull some to better understand the concept of humor."

"Oh, so that's why you gave Wesley a wedgie? Listen, Data, I may have said that that was funny before, but it was kind of tasteless. Wesley could have gotten seriously hurt."

"I see. I will attempt less harmful pranks in the future."

"Data!" Geordi said. Why was his friend always so obsessed over humor? It was irritating him, to be sure. And pranks were just going to get his friend into trouble. "Data, pranks aren't a good idea. They just… aren't. And I'm not helping you. Not one bit."

"You are aware, Geordi, that I will execute these pranks with or without your help."

Geordi sighed. "Fine, fine." The things he did for his best friend. "What's your idea?"

Data told him.

The android's friend couldn't help but chuckle. "Now _that_ is going to be funny."

* * *

The next day, all of the senior crew was in the bridge. Data quickly slipped something in the captain's command chair. No one noticed.

Captain Picard came back from his bathroom break. He headed to his chair and began to talk. "Now, Data, chart a course for…" PHHHHHHHHTTTTTTTT! A loud farting noise erupted as the captain sat down. The crew broke out into hilarity. "Did you eat too many beans for lunch, Captain?" Riker said between laughs. The captain turned red in the face.

Picard stood up and took the whoopee cushion out from his chair. It was the same color as the cushion of the command chair. He held it up. "I want to know who did this," Picard said, seething. Nobody said a word. "No one?" he asked. Fuming, he went off to his ready room.

Data smiled to himself, even though he didn't understand why it was humorous.

* * *

Later that day, Data told Geordi about what happened. Data's friend was in stitches. "Oh, man," he said, laughing, "I wish I could have seen that. Did he find out?"

"No," Data replied, "and he is not going to. But, Geordi," he continued, "I still do not understand why a device that makes a noise similar to that of passing gas is considered comical."

Geordi didn't know how to put. "Data, it just… I don't know how to explain it. It just is."

"That is not much of an explanation. But I will tell you of my next plan. I will need your help for this one." The android proceeded to tell his friend about his next planned prank.

Data's best friend gave a big grin. "I'm with you on this one, Data."

* * *

Thank you to everyone who reviewed and put this story on Story Alert and/or favorites. 


	4. Silly String

**A/N: Finally! I've gotten around to uploading a new chapter! Hope you like it! Thanks to Tennoko for the suggestion of silly string.**

Data handed Geordi a spray can. "This is called Silly String," he explained without emotion.

"Silly String? Data, I…"

The golden android held up a finger. "I will demonstrate." He called his cat over. "Spot, come here."

The cat meowed tentatively. Data cocked his head and pressed his thumb down on the nozzle.

Spot yowled as Silly String was sprayed on its' body. The cat ran out of the room.

Geordi looked confused. "Are you sure that's safe, Data?"

Data nodded. "It is a perfectly safe evaporating fluorocarbon compound that is contained in an aerosol can used for the sole purpose of…"

Geordi held up a hand. "I get it, okay?"

The android shrugged. "Well, it is perfect for my experiment." He shook the can. "I have several more, if you'd like."

The engineer nodded and Data handed him a few more bottles of the pranking material. "We will station ourselves at the ends of several hallways in the ship and spray random people. Is this satisfactory?"

Geordi chuckled. "Yeah, it's 'satisfactory,' Data."

Several hours later, Data and Geordi's mission turned out to be a success. They had sprayed (according to Data), 75.5 persons in the hours they had been staking out. (The .5 being Worf, who had discovered Data's scheming pranks and challenged him to a match in the holodeck.) Almost all of them had run away in terror.

Geordi laughed as Data told him about his encounter with Worf. "Heh, that's funny, Data."

Data cocked his head. "I have found this part of the experiment to be immensely intriguing. However, there is something missing…"

"What's that?"

The android pulled out a final can of Silly String. "It's your turn." He sprayed the nozzle all over Geordi's VISOR and face.

"Augggh! Data! I can't see!" He began clawing at his face.

"Excuse me, but my shift begins soon. I will see you later, Geordi."

"NO! Data, don't leave me like this! DATA!"

Sometime later

Geordi found himself in the sickbay, pleading with Dr. Crusher to get the substance off of his VISOR.

"It's a simple resin, actually. I can get it off quite easily." The red-haired doctor looked at Geordi with a note of concern. "But what is it, exactly? What happened?"

The engineer pouted. "…silly string…"

**And that's all! I actually think this is the funniest chapter yet. :) Please do express your likes, dislikes, etc…by clicking that little review button. Thanks!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Not really a prank, but an idea that I had. Hope you like it!**

"Are you positively sure this is safe, Data?" Counselor Troi asked.

"I am positive," the android replied. "Would I be carrying this out if it was not?"

About twenty people were sitting around in Ten Forward in the dark. Data had had the bright idea as part of his "experiment" to turn the lights off when Guinan left, and give everyone something he called 'sparklers.'

The android turned to Troi and handed her a stick. "What am I supposed to do with this?" she asked curiously.

Data took out a lighter and lit the stick. White sparks began flying everywhere. "Wow, it's so pretty," Deanna exclaimed.

"It does produce an interesting spectacle," Data admitted.

Soon, the whole lounge was aglow with sparklers. It was quite a sight to behold.

Guinan came back into the room. "Well, isn't this something," she said. "Who did this?"

All the patrons pointed to Data.

"Well, it's very nice…"

"It is actually a 20th century technology that was used for celebrations such as Independence Days, weddings…."

"Spare us the details, Data," Guinan said in awe.

Suddenly, there was a BOOM sound and everyone turned around to see a huge flame on the floor in front of Miles O'Brien with a look of shock on the man's face. "Oops. I dropped it."

"Someone spilled some alcohol…"

Data cocked his head. "Hmm." He said. "I did not calculate this happening… I will have to be more careful next time…"


End file.
